Debilitating pains of endometriosis
(Harrison, Arkansas United States)
My endometriosis story all started a very long time ago.
Looking back on my life, it seems so crystal, so inevitable - but at the same time, I have been unable to gracefully cope with these symptoms at all.
I was an all formula fed baby, raised on "happy" meals, ramen, and hamburger helper. As a very young girl, I remember having lots of issues with my bowels.
I remember crying in desperation at my grandmother's house because I needed to poop so bad and couldn't. I wet the bed every night until I was six, and suffered from intense moments of anxiety, guilt, and depression.
I can safely say 60% of my life has been locked up in silence, sobbing to myself. As I grew older, these debilitating attacks took over my life, reclusing myself from my friends for months. I used to tell them, "I'm just disappearing for a while."
It didn't help that I only pooped once a week, maybe twice if I was lucky, for about five years (age 14-18). My doctor preformed an x-ray and found that I was completely full of it (literally), yet I had no urge to defecate.
I would feel incredibly bloated and sick most of the time. I would feel the need to go, that terrible straining and heaviness, but was only lucky enough to poop after hours of rolling, sharp
cramps and abdominal pain. The first of it would be hard and terrible to pass, and then it was straight up liquid.
I was also strung between an ice cold rationalist and a manic extravaganza, both of whom fed a pessimistic hypochondria nervous tick in me.
I started working at a bakery nine months ago. Since then, a new symptom revealed itself --constant vaginitis, and debilitating pelvic pain with intermittent bladder infections.
I had such a terrible pelvic infection I was bed ridden for a week (the only thing that helped was melrose oil, aloe vera) and my doctor's told me I had PID. Later to find out, I don't have PID.
I switched my diet tremendously about six months ago, eating more fruits and vegetables than anything, using essential oils for healing, cutting out refined sugars completely, and eating only whole grains.
I felt a tremendous change in my body, but the pain has not subsided. Chronic fatigue, depression, and acute pelvic and back pain. I'm nineteen and feel like a fifty year old.
Switched doctors, and she suspects that I have a severe gluten intolerance, maybe associated with IBS and definitely causing endometriosis. I haven't had endometriosis diagnosed, which causes me stress.
It's very difficult to cope with this amount of agony on a daily level and work fourty hours a week and go to college and keep my cool when I don't feel like I have an answer, just so many of the symptoms.
I start having PMS two to three weeks before my period, usually starting with the normal moodiness and cravings of foods such as chocolate and comfort food, but I do not deviate from the diet.
Gradually my PMS grows into a state of severity, with abdominal cramping, bloating, and chronic fatigue; all of which debilitate me from work at least three days a month. (I am fairly certain that I have candida overgrowth.)
How do I cope gracefully with this? How do you give such a strange, ambiguous health degradation to the creator and relax a bit? I know if I don't let go then I will suffer greatly, but I have little support from those around me, nobody that can understand this constant suffering.
My husband has been so great, and in a way has been suffering with me. It's consumed our lives. I hope and pray that with my continued use of god's medicine and understanding, along with reduced stress, that I can move on from this and heal.
Title: I can relate to you!!!
My name is Devon & I'm 19 just like you. I've had endometriosis for two years now and suffer from non-stop agony on a daily basis. My endometriosis hurts whether I'm bleeding or not.
I have painful intercourse and have recently had problems with bowel movements as well. After my struggle with being diagnosed and being in the hospital multiple times I can tell you this: lean on your person. Your husband seems very loving and supportive.
I have an amazing boyfriend who has stuck with me and understands I have my bad and my good days. No one will be able to fully understand you, and after a while some people may become fed up with your symptoms and act as if nothing is wrong.
I know first hand, it does get a little easier pain wise, you will learn to block some of it out but it's extremely difficult. I recommend going on a birth control, possibly Depo or Mirena. I've been on everything except Mirena, but I'm having it placed soon.
You need your rock, and you need to take everything day by day. I wish I could help you, and share our experiences with one another. Hang in there, you can become stronger. We won't let this define us.