Endometriosis Stories Page 9

Name: Anna
E mail: annajessa@hotmail.com
Location: Poland
Date: Sept 2006

Hello, Before I start my story I would like you to advise to find the best specialist in endo you can. In my case, I trusted my gynaecologist too much. He turned out to be the specialist let's say for soft and not complicated cases. I was 29 years old when I was diagnosed with endo. It was like a nightmare because I knew what my mother suffered form, who had endo as well. When I went to my doctor and complained about my pain, he ignored the pain and the symptoms. What is strange in my story, that I have never suffered from any pain during my menses. He just said that I had had a cyst which would have been to be cut out some day. Be accident I went to another doctor which diagnosed me with endo. I had a surgery in December 2005. It was another shock to me to know that I had my left ovary and oviduct cut out cause it was totally devastated by endo. I have only half of my right ovary left with 50 % chance to have any baby. I was treated with Danazol for 3 months and stopped to start taking clostilbegyt to stimulate ovulation. Unfortunately, after 3 months I had the reemission of my endo. I started taking Danazol again but now after two-month' treatment I stopped again. During the time of my illness I have been changing doctors because it turned out that one of them wasn't competent enough and I stopped trusting his diagnosis. Now I have found a great doctor which seems to know how to treat my endo and helps me to get pregnant. My story is a kind of a tip-off. Be sure that the doctor who treats your endo is a well-qualified specialist in this field.


E mail: charlenepjohnson@eastlink.ca
Location: Canada
Date: Sep 2006

Many of the stories I just read all sound sooo familiar. Missing time from school, work, and relationship difficulties all added up for me too. Since I was 15 I had painful cycles, and pain etc. between cycles. I am now 30, and last week I just underwent the removal of my uterus and cervix. I hope that with meditation, and reading, I can find healing, and support. It feels as though life is not fair, and you find yourself angry with those who haven't "walked in your shoes", but still have nerve enough to make rude comments about your situation. I don't blame other people for avoiding the thought of what it would be like to be me when I have pain, or miss out on work, etc. It would be good if the people for which a woman has to discuss her medical issues with, could work on solutions for a productive future for her, rather than wash their hands clean of it. When positive support is given to individuals who are having medical issues, their lives in the workplace, and at home, can change for the better. When I decided to take charge of my life, and make it better, I couldn't have done it without the support of family and friends. I chose alternative methods (meditation, visualization, counselling etc.) as well as conventional means (medication from time to time), and found I had less pain. Pain from Endometriosis can be reduced but only if you have the right support, frame of mind to make changes, and commit to them. Making the most of pain free days was great, but I found myself apologizing more often than not for being absent when I had a pain. Now I state my reason for missing work, etc., but there is no need to apologize. Does anyone apologize for having a cold? Hormones can change so much about a person. I know. When I read stories about how endometriosis has affected a woman, her partner, her family, her lifestyle and much more, I relate and sympathize. There is no easy solution to taming the kind of pain experienced with endo. Finding what works to eliminate pain can be a very big task, not to mention an emotional one. I know that my story is similar, and/or different to other women. At the same time we all share the need to be loved and supported. I'm not sure if I have found a concrete solution for pain, but I have noticed that different forms of meditation have worked for me on different days. It all depends on the amount of pain I am experiencing. I only hope that what I have written will open up other women to try different methods for coping with endo. I didn't believe in alternative methods at first. I thought they would be too time consuming and difficult. After only 2 weeks of meditation people started saying to me, "You seem so happy with your life right now". I was and I still am. I have accepted that change is inevitable, and although there are things I can do to make my life better, the present solutions may not work in the future. Alternating what works for you is very helpful.


Name: Raiha McDonald
E mail: Barzdys@hotmail.com
Location: Australia
Date: Sept 2006

I’m 22 i have suffered really painful periods since the first time at the age of 13.. At the first cycle my period pain was so severe.. i started of with back pain.. hot and cold flushes followed.. then it started to feel like a burning sensation on the left of my belly. which then escalated to a pain that feels like the inside of my stomach was getting scrapped out with an object. The pain gets so unbearable i get bowel movement which i then get running stools and i am vomiting. I have been to doctors which they have told me i am to young to come back in a year. I have tryied panadol, panadine fort, herbal, the pill many of things the pain still is there.. The pain is getting worst i am fainting. The pain is so bad in the left side of my belly and in my back i am taking three days of work. The first day is painful, which the pain can last for 8hours and some of my cycles the pain is there for around 5hours of continuous pain non stop. The second and third day i am recovering lots of rest.. my body becomes extremely weak i can't walk i get dizzy.. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.. love Raiha PS.. needing more info about Endometriosis


Name: Kari Jenkins
E mail: jenkins_kari@yahoo.com
Location: United States
Date: September 2006

I am 24 years old and have been dealing with pelvic pain and bleeding for as long as I can remember. I always felt something was wrong but didn’t pay that much attention to it until I started having sex. It seemed like every time I would be intimate with my boyfriend it would hurt for days afterwards. I also was feeling tired all the time and would bleed for weeks. The first time I had a pelvic exam I should have known for sure something was seriously wrong, the exam left me in excruciating pain for a week. My doctor at the time did nothing except put me on depo which made me bleed on and off for a year. I had even mentioned to her that my cousin had severe endo and two of my sisters had it along with cancer running in my family and she still never tried to see if that’s what was wrong. Finally in 2003 I saw a different doctor that said after the very first visit he was pretty sure I had endo and scheduled me for surgery. Sure enough he found it all over. He said it was very diffuse and he didn’t take any of it out. I went on lupron and didn’t feel it was helping after four months so I got off. I ended up trying it again for the full six months and felt a little better but still had symptoms. My doctor prescribed pain meds on and off but always made me feel like a drug addict even though I only asked a few times a year. Finally he said he felt he couldn't help me any more and sent me to a specialist in D.C.. The doctors there did another surgery and this time they took out as much as they could. The doctor said I had so much stuff in there that no hormones would have helped me. I actually felt relief from the surgery for about a month and a half, then it all started back. I was supposed to be trying to get pregnant but my boyfriend and I had a falling out so there went that idea. In the meanwhile I switched jobs and had no insurance to even get on lupron again. Whenever I've gone to the specialist I've paid out of pocket and all he can do right now is give me pain meds every once and a while. I have always loved children and dreamed of having a big family one day. I have helped raise my sisters children and work at a day-care but there's nothing like having your own. The pain has gotten so bad and debilitating that I have actually talked to my doctor about a hysterectomy. He said he wouldn’t do it. I have come to peace with the fact that I don't think I can have children and feel that God has chosen me to be a foster mother. Right now I still have no insurance and no one will help me get any. I have had to go to part time at my job because the pain is so severe on an everyday basis I can hardly function without pain meds. I don't want to be on pain meds everyday but I need the doctors to actually do something that helps me. I am going to John Hopkins for an appt. with a doctor there. Please pray someone there can give me relief, I am so tired of being in constant physical and emotional pain it's driving me crazy. The only thing that keeps me going is my faith in God and my family that supports me. Thank you for letting me share my story and all of you who are going through the same hell , you're in my prayers!


Name: Louise
E mail: lou_the_great@hotmail.com
Location: United Kingdom
Date: October 2006

Firstly I have not yet been diagnosed with endo, I am currently being pumped full of the combined pill Yasmin (3 month blocks). My gyno said this would help them determine whether or not I have it. I have a swollen lower belly, pain most of the time but it worsens during intercourse, before and during bowel movements, and if I am more active than normal. I have an ovarian cyst(2.6cm), which they thought nothing about, but when I started getting pain when I sat down or had a bowel movement I made an appointment with my gp, who referred me to the gyno. All I knew when I came away from the gyno was that I was to take bcp's for 3months then break for a week to help them rule out endo, but 2 days later I got an appointment through for an ultrasound. This made me panic, why did she not mention this at my appt? Surely they must think there is something there when they decided to send me for a scan?! Anyway, I'm onto the second month of taking the bcp continuously, i started getting what I can only describe as "old blood" I thought it was just because it was when i would usually be getting "aunt flo" but while in the bath I felt a (sorry about this) warm gush, there was a blood clot in the water. I have never had clots before, I felt numb. After the clot, I bled for more than a week. I assumed that the bcp's would stop me from having aunt flo, maybe i'm just naive. My fiancé does not know what to say to me or how to approach the subject of endo, so it is difficult to talk about.Please tell me what you think, and how you coped when you found out. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Louise. X


Name: Mandy
E mail: iheartreliv@hotmail.com
Location: United States
Date: October 2006

Hello, I have not officially been diagnosed with Endo, nor do I want to be, but I have endured a lot of the frustrations I see mentioned here - such as being told I have IBS and to take fiber supplements. If you have Endo and your symptoms are similar to mine, I would love to speak with you - please email me! At the age of 15 or so, I began having what I came to refer to as "ovulation pain". It was a stabbing pain, usually not severe but nagging, in the very lowest right side of my abdomen. It always occurred during ovulation, sometimes lasting a few hours up to a couple of days. In recent years, I have found that Advil will take the pain away, but I'm not crazy about taking ANY medication unless I desperately need it. From the age of 17, for over a year, I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend at the time (shame on me) but never became pregnant. Looking back, I wonder if that wasn't a sign. Now, after 4-1/2 years of marriage without using any form of birth control 99.9% of the time, I still have not conceived (didn't marry the old boyfriend, so I know it's not the men who have fertility issues). We are not actively trying to conceive, but we often seem to coincidentally have sex during fertile days, and yet nothing. I have average periods, but usually a lot of cramping and clotting. For the past 3-4 months, however, I begin bleeding after ovulation - my period will stop, a week or so will go by, then I ovulate, then bleed again for 5 or 6 days. Exercise and sex also bring on bouts of cramps and bleeding. And for the past week or so, when I urinate, I have sharp pains when I am finishing, perhaps when the muscles are contracting?? There is no burning, blood in the urine, foul odor, or increased frequency, so I don't think it's a bladder infection. I have always had a gut feeling that I could have Endo, and I have yet another appointment with my gyno on Monday. I've had a vaginal ultrasound which revealed ovarian cysts, but the doctor said they were common and not of concern. Should I insist at this appointment that she test more extensively? Thanks and God bless!


Name: Jennifer Schaffer
E mail: spendsix@aol.com
Location: United States
Date: October 2006

I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 20? I think I was 20, and had a dnc, which was no fun experience, but I had a significant amount of relief from my cramps afterward, so I was very happy that I went through it. I'm now 30 and have not had insurance for a while now (I now recently do) and I'm having severe pain again. My doctor seemed to dismiss my pain, but I know the difference in how regular menstrual pain should feel and how this feels. I'm experiencing debilitating pain, and sometimes a fever. My biggest problem is getting a doctor to listen and understand and take this seriously. When I was young and finally diagnosed it took me actually passing out on the bathroom floor to get the doctor to take me seriously. I do not want it to go that far again. If someone has some advice that would be great. thank-you, Jennifer


Name: Mandy Ng
E mail: mandycho@yahoo.com
Location: Hong Kong
Date: October 2006

I am a Chinese woman aged 34, this is the third week after my second surgery (with three keyholes). I started to find out the chocolate cyst in my right ovary in 2003 and unfortunately it returned in 2006, just three years after the first surgery. As it is the second time, I become more aware of the diet and lifestyle that I need to change. Actually I am the sort of nervous and stressful woman who always worries about small stuffs. So now I am searching through different websites and see how I can fight against this disease. But the journey for dealing and healing with this should not be easy as I am a busy teacher in Hong Kong. The modern and polluted city where I find it hard to maintain a healthy and balanced diet. And it is a huge challenge for me to eat less (high fibre and less fat). Anyway I know I need to start to deal with this, otherwise it might return again! Hope those who suffer from endo can have confidence and patience to face with all the changes and challenges. Mandy Ng


Name: Leslie
E mail: lesliedesign2k@aol.com
Location: United States
Date: October 2006

I have had endometriosis since I was age 15. I knew something was wrong at the time, I had my first period. I would bleed so heavy and would produce huge blood clots. The doctor put me on birth control and I have been on birth control for many years to control my pain symptoms. No one ever really explained the seriousness of my problem to me in the 80's, which is a pity for me. In 2003, I had ovarian cyst and a D& C to remove adhesions when I was living in Germany. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, but at the time... My fiancé at that time had bought us a vacation to the Canary Islands. He pressured me to leave the hospital early as he could not get a refund on vacation. So, I endured the pain and went on this vacation to the canaries. The doctors begged me to stay in the hospital, as I was very ill. But, I loved my boyfriend a little bit more than I loved myself. Which was a mistake. The German doctors pressured me to get pregnant to cure endometriosis..which is not a good cure.. since I am having pain with sex to begin with. After, we broke up in 2004,which was because he complained about lack of sex all the time. I have suffered pain with sex my entire life. I have had to drink lots of alcoholic beverages to dull my senses, just to even have sex. That same year, I was diagnosed with another ovarian cyst on the same right ovary of course. I took some birth control to control cyst and tried to forget about it. I didn't want to always be whining about my issues.I started having some spinal pain in 2005 and 2006 and during the MRI, the x- ray specialist noticed, I had fibroids in my pelvis. Now, On October 7th I went to a OB/GYN appointment as I am having new issues. This time I was told my condition is chronic and I need a hysterectomy. The doctor thinks I have a mass in my pelvis,severe adhesions, ovarian cyst, fibroids, prolapsed uterous. He said I had only 3 options which is deprovera, menopause causing hormones or hysterectomy.. He said I need the hysterectomy as my pain would only get more crippling. Currently, I have 2 forms of anaemia and a crazy spastic colon which causes pain also, heart palpitations during my period, nausea, weight loss as my period makes me sick in general. I used to have the pains only during my period for many years. Now, I am having the pains in between my periods. I have lost 12 pounds; I am down to 104 pounds at age 36. I have always been able to endure pain my entire life, but now my pains have taken over my life. I used to enjoy fun with my girlfriends and guy friends, now everything seems so distant. My options fade every day as the pain is all I know. I am sad as I am giving up my chance at motherhood, which is the only thing I wanted my entire life. The rewards of hysterectomy could be greater than motherhood, as it can give me my life back. I feel sometimes sad, as my mense cycle something that last only 3 days in normal people, seems to last me 10 and 14 days and rob my body of energy. Until I get a schedule date for my operation. I will have to go through another monthly cycle which I dread..


Name: Julie
E mail: jjuls22@comcast.net
Location: United States
Date: October 2006

Ever since I was 12 I have had horrific cramps that would make me miss school and basically cripple me for a day or two at a time. My mom always thought I was exaggerating and we never went to see a doctor. I am now 23 and last year I had my first Laporscopic surgery to remove what the doctors thought was a dermoid. I was in unbearable pain before the surgery, it hurt to walk, it hurt to move, it hurt to do anything! the pain was only on my left side. After coming out of surgery the doctor told me that he had removed a hemorratic cyst as well as a massive amount of scar tissue from my pelvic wall, keep in mind this is my first surgery ever so there is no explanation for the scarring. He also stated that both my left ovary and fallopian tube were "stucked" to my pelvic wall. So he free'd them up, took out my cyst and sent me home on continuous birth control saying that it would suppress my ovaries and I wouldn’t have any more cysts. Lo and be hold I was back the next month and the month after that and the next month with pain in my left ovary. Finally my doctor tried to put me on lupron, after being to many "Lupron" sites I decided that the long term side effects weren’t worth it and very very scary. So they kept doing ultra-sounds on me and the only information I was getting is... Yep you have another hemorratic cyst in your left ovary. The largest one I've had so far was a little over 3cm. The doctors tell me that until they get to 4cm, isn't something to worry about. So, I continue to be in horrible pain every month, having my period is fine but when its over the pain starts. The only relief I can seem to get is pain killers. SO i went to see a second doctor. With him reading the notes from my surgery he looked at me and said... well this all sounds like endo, didn’t he ( the surgery doc) do a biopsy? I looked at him puzzled and replied No. So here I am almost a year later after my surgery thinking about removing my left ovary so I can start to have a normal life with my boyfriend. Something new that I have been reading about, that I have found more information on this page is diet. Removing wheat totally. Im not sure if this will work yet, but it is my last hope before surgery. Has any one had any other encounters where their doctors just dont know what they are talking about??? What do I do??

Name: Sha Lisa
E mail: munsen_sm@yahoo.com
Location: United States
Date: November 2006

I was diagnosed with Endo when I was 14. I am now 27. I have has 8 laser surgeries and am 4 days away from having my 9th and final one. I am having a hysterectomy. This time I have no choice. I went to the ER about a month ago complaining of feelings of fainting frequently and severe lethargy. This was also the 3rd straight week I had been bleeding. It turns out that my body can no longer take the pain it has been under for 13 years. I was diagnosed with severely high blood pressure that was being caused by the pain. I am now confined to the couch or bed and any physical activity such as walking about my house or sitting up for long lengths of time will make my blood pressure sky-rocket. The answer I am told-remove the pain, remove the blood pressure problem-Hysterectomy. I have battled with this disease at a very young age and would miss school and work frequently. At 16, I was diagnosed with IBS and a spastic colon. This added to the pain and suffering I would continue to have up to now. I have since then had to take more prescriptions and stay to a strict diet or severe pain would return. My parents have helped me to find herbs and vitamins to help slow the endo growth process and help with my IBS. I have had the growing cysts inside burst several times, again, causing extreme pain. As with others, sex with my husband is a lot of the time painful and will repercussions the following few days with more pain. Thankfully, he is very understanding and good man. When first diagnosed with endo several doctors told me that children were out of the question. We tried everything. An herbal cleanse and fast was my miracle, with God's help. We have one child, and are most grateful. My doctor said that this pregnancy would put the disease into remission. It did not-it spead up,each time removed, my doctor said it was worse than the time before, forcing me to have surgeries more often. My last surgery was this year in February. This disease is hereditary and I have it on both sides of my family. I am the youngest to have a hysterectomy in my family. This disease is raping me of future children I have dreamed of and I am devastated. It helped me to know that I'm not the only woman who has struggled with this horrible disease. Thank you. For those looking for additional help, I have been taking Olive Leaf Extract for several years now. It is an anti-fungal. Research has proven that endo feeds off of the fungas in our bodies. I take it 2 times a day. There are several other helpful herbs that help also with pain and the growth. You will need to research. Everyones body is different & will work with different things. A herbal naturopath will help. I wish you all the best.


Name: Rehana Begum
E mail: sadia_hasan@rediffmail.com
Location: India
Date: October 2006

Hi .I stay in Mumbai INDIA . I was diagnosed endometriosis in nov2005 has gone thrw the laproscope followed by hormonal treatment (lupride depot) for six months .. so there were no periods till may . I got my periods in july after taking some other hormones. In nov 2006 my ultrasound report shows that my endrometrium wall is again thick ? Do I have to go for laproscopy again . Will I be able to conceive ever ?????? My family doesn’t have any history of endrometriosis . Please reply


Name: Michelle Ross
Location: United States
Date: November 2006

I was 19 years old when I went into the hospital with major abdominal pain. It took the doctors 3 days to finally figure out what was going on. All that they knew was that I had a massive mass. It turned out that I had endo, the biggest case that the hospital had ever seen. They did surgery and told me that my ovary was the size of a big grapefruit and that it had turned over 3 times and was completely dead. The doctors told me that it had been growing for 4 years, until I was in so much pain that I couldn't even walk. It has been 3 years and so far so good. Luckily it hasn't come back yet. I know that it is happening to many younger girls. It was a very scary situation for me, but everything turned out ok. To all of you, just remember that we know what you are or had gone threw. Stay strong and help raise awareness in others.


Name: Genn
E mail: witcheeos_iluvk_@hotmail.com
Location: Canada
Date: November 2006

I am only 22. I am a recovered drug addict. I was a single mom till 3 years when I met my love of my life. I have a successful career and a wonderful family. Sounds perfect? I am constantly in pain, I am embarrassed about what is wrong with me and the constant label of being 'the sick girl' at work, I am depressed and confused and feel helpless. And little did I know that this, which has been going on for at least 3 years now, has been caused by endo. After my son's first birthday, my periods became extremely painful; I had long lasting tingling headaches and couldn’t stop bleeding. I figured this was all the effects of pregnancy and breastfeeding, so I didn’t look too hard into it. Then I became pregnant in 2004, lost my daughter at 5 months fetal age. This is when I became extremely depressed and anxiety started taking on. I assumed this was mostly due to her death and the fact that I was recovering still from a long term addiction to street drugs. Still I didn’t search. This past summer however, I noticed I was having painful diarrhoea for weeks, pains down my leg and up my side of my back. I found a good family physician who pushed for many gastro diagnosis tests. Yet, everything came back normal. I was getting ultrasounds and blood work done every month and finally after 5 months, they found something. With my physician being suspicious of what looked like a giant varicose vein on my ovary and uterus, she sent me to a OBGYN specialist. Meanwhile, I have used up all my sickdays, my performance at work was being effected, and even my son was starting to pick up on 'the mummy syndrome' "mummy, I will give you magic touch to make you feel better, mummy, don’t feel sick anymore'. I was soo excited to see this specialist, thinking ok, they'll fix it and I can go back to living a great life that I've made for myself. This doctor was outrageous. His first treatment, which he really pushed, was a full hysterectomy on a 22 year old. I still want kids so I've refused that. However he did explain that my depression, my anxiety, my pains and what other doctors had originally diagnosed as IBS was all part of this. Finally something made sense yet he wasn’t providing any treatment options to treat the now disabling symptoms. I've gone to family doctor again and she is referring my to another specialist for a second opinion, and will be doing a follow up with me to talk about taking a sick leave. I am 22, unhappy, unimpressed, and feel my life is getting out of my control, Mine and my husband’s relationship is suffering because sex is so painful, and I am no longer myself. Mine and my son's life is less active, I no longer have all the energy to play, I feel I am on the verge of losing my job, and now have fellow employees confronting me about my health. How long will it take to get a good solution, is there one? I sympathize for all the women who have been experiencing this for so much longer and who have more serious cases. I couldn’t imagine what life is like for them.


Name: Kristina Bickle
E mail: Hollisterdoll514@yahoo.com
Location: United States
Date: December 2006

I started experiencing symptoms of Endometriosis when I was nine years old with my first menstrual cycle. I have experienced pain since day one. I remember lying on my bathroom floor praying that I would just die. I remember those days, I would hang my head over the toilet and hope to God that i was dreaming. I had no idea what was happening to me. I felt so lost and completely helpless. I lived in the dark for 7 years. I felt more and more alone every day. My pain would get so bad that I would have to go to the ER, they would pump me full of morphine and basically tell me I was a baby for not being able to handle the pain. When I was 14, I knew I had to do something, I went to my family Doctor, this was the first time I had ever heard the word Endometriosis. So of course i took it with a grain of salt. He thought I needed to be put on birth control, but she didn't want me to take it, she thought it was inappropriate for a 14 year old girl to take Birth Control, So I didn't go on birth control. I would later find out that it was the best decision that my mother ever made. So I suffered for two more years. I would have pain all through my period, I would throw up and pass out. I would miss school, pray that I would just wake up from this horrific nightmare. In the summer of my sophomore year, I moved to Houston, Texas, and i started seeing my first Gyno. She put me of Seasonal, it worked for a little bit, it never really stopped my pain. I tried 3 other birth control pills and they all did the same thing, Tons of pain! I was tired of being in pain, I told her something had to be done, she said she could scope me but she really did not see any need to because the pain I was feeling is what all girls feel, and I needed to stop thinking I was any worse than anyone else. Well needless to say, We shared a few words. I let her know exactly how i felt, and I never saw her again, one of my friends later went to her and was told she was crazy and needed to see a therapist, something I heard from that Dr. as well as many others. After I left that Doctor, I moved on to another at the recommendation of a family friend. He seemed really nice at first, I thought he was going to help me. This Doctor put me on Birth control, which didn't work. So we tried the Lupron Depot shot. I was on it for 6 months. I had pain all through out the treatment, I gained weight, I had hot flashes, night sweats, and no emotion, I was a completely different person. I am still not the same person I was before lupron that I am today. I still don't feel like me, and that I was almost 2 years ago. After that treatment was done, I got an ultrasound, and my Dr. said that my cysts had shrunk so I should feel better. We'll I didn't, I felt terrible throughout the entire duration of lupron. He said there was nothing more he could do for me and that I need to see a therapist, this was the second doctor who labelled me as crazy. I was starting to doubt my own sanity as well. I thought maybe I was going crazy, I didn't know what to think. I felt lost and confused, more lost than I ever felt before. I didn't want to go to school, or see friends, all I wanted to do was sit and home and wait to die. My mom started doing a lot of research on line and reading books, and talking to a lot of different people, she eventually joined the Endometriosis Association. Which is how we found Dr. Mac. also known as my Angel. I thank God for Dr. Mac. every day. I still remember the first time I met him. He took me to his office and spent two hours talking to me about my problems like they were his own. He made me feel like I was his only patient, like I was the most important person in the world. At my first appointment we scheduled my first surgery. After missing more than half of my junior year, I had my first surgery on the last day of my junior year. Dr. Mac said that I had stage 4 endo and cervical stynosis, the only thing that wasn't covered in endo were my fallopian tubes. He said I was lucky that i didn't have to have my ovaries and all taken out. I did really well that summer, I lost a ton of weight, and had the time of my life with friends. I started my Senior year in High school with an entirely new out look. I thought things would be different, I thought I was going to have the time of my life. I thought I was going to be cured. I couldn't have been more wrong. I started having pain again a few months into my senior year. I was on lupron again, and had nothing but pain. I also tried birth control pills, I eventually had to quit going to school, I bled straight for 3 months, I was tired, and in pain all the time. I was so lost and so confused, I got really depressed and went on an anti-depressant called lexapro, it helped. I got a home school teacher so i could try to graduate with my class. Before i got sick I was at the top of my class, and because I was sick, my grades dropped and I had D's and F's. I wanted to go to medical school, endo ruined my dreams. I couldn't take it anymore once again, so Dr. Mac. went in again, he laproscoped me again in march of 2006. I had a tumor on my right side, and also found out that I have rapidly growing endometriosis. I was lucky that they got the tumour early or it could have turned to cancer. He burned off multiple bands and scaring in various places. I went back to school a few weeks later and worked harder than I have ever worked in my entire life and tried really hard to graduate, and I actually did it, I walked across the stage, and cried the entire way. Most people didn't even know I went to school there anymore, some people thought I killed my self or died some how, I heard so many rumors when i came back to school. Then a few months later I started having tons of pain again, I started college, and got a boyfriend who was really caring and understanding about everything. I was still seeing Dr. Mac. and we decided that we had tried everything, I went off all treatment, I didn't want to take anymore depot shots or birthcontol, or anything. I was tired of everything. So my mom, dad, dr, and I all talked about it, and I decided to have a baby. I have always wanted children, and Dr. Mac said that the longer I wait the less chance I have of ever having a baby. He said i have rapidly growing endo and he said that within 3 to 5 years I could be completely infertile. Which is the last thing in the world I want ever. If I don't have children, I wouldn't feel complete, and I know I can adopt, but I want my own, I want to go through the entire process, I want to be pregnant, and have the baby and raise it! If I lost that chance I wouldn't know what to do. So now it is December, and I am having surgery on the 20th, after I recover from my surgery I will be going to the dr. and getting inseminated. I know that the decision I have made is completely life changing. And I know that my decision is the right one for me. I have tried everything else there is out there, and nothing has worked, so I am having a baby now while i still have a chance, and If my endo doesn’t get better after I have my little one, then I will have a hysterectomy. Right now I am just trying to deal with the pain and life with endo, I am trying to live everyday to the fullest and trying to over come everything that i have been through, which is not an easy thing to do. I have had to deal with more than most girls my age, but I know that it has happened to me for a reason, and I really hope that I can share my story with others, and give them a bit of hope and reassurance that they aren't alone. The hardest thing for me to deal with when I was younger was thinking I was all alone in the struggle, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I thought that I would never be cured or find someone to who would understand or believe me! I had no idea that there are so many women and girls out there just like me. I feel so much better knowing that you are all out there and that we all have so much in common! I thank God every day for the hope and happiness that knowing that gives me! Thank you so much for reading and for being there to listen and to give a shoulder to lean on, and a friend in the time of need. Because even if I don't know you, I am here for you, and even if I know ever talk to you, you should know that I love you and I am always here for you! Don't ever be afraid to stand up for your self, if you know you have pain! Don't let anyone fool you into believing you are crazy! Because you aren't! Girls shouldn't have excruciating pain just because we are girls! And that is the biggest misconception that we all must fight against! WE ARE NOT MEANT TO LIVE IN PAIN! NOR DO WE HAVE TO! Remember that and it could save your life and your future fertility! Thank you so much for taking the time to read! Kristina Bickle



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