I had not intended to get pregnant however I embraced knowing I was the moment I found out. I quickly purchased the "what to expect when you're expecting", purchased a pregnacy journal and starting making a list of possible names.
I thought about fun ways we would tell our families and awkwardly tried to explain to my first baby, my dog, about how our lives would change. In January 2013 I had a miscarriage. Since then my periods have become heavier, longer and more painful. Probably every other month I get this awful bloating the day before my period that takes away my ability to walk normally, stand up straight and roll over in bed.
Pain killers don't help and neither do stool softeners. My pain before, during and after my period has become unbearable. When I exercise, even yoga, I feel like I'm being stabbed from the inside outside. Sex is painful. I've noticed myself pushing my fiancée away, being extra bitchy, in hopes that he won't make any attempts at making love.
I start doing some research into my symptoms and discover I could have anything from an STD to cancer. I diagnosis myself with endometriosis and consider calling the gyno. But I don't call. I just suffer through the pain and anxiety, withdrawal from social gatherings and keep avoiding sex as much as I can.
Phil, my fiance, begs me to call the doctor. I'll be fine, it'll pass. I'm still young, only 29, it can't be anything serious. Recently the pain with exercising has become excruciating, dropping to the floor in tears. So I made an appointment. I tell them it's just for a typical check up. I can come in 4 weeks. Two days later I'm turning my work car around to go home because I feel like my insides are going to rip through my skin. I call Phil hysterical.
I give in to being taken to the ER. "CT shows a 10 cm mass on your right side, here's some more morphine." "Ultrasound shows 11.5 cm cyst on your ovary." I choose surgery. When I see my gyno the next day I learn the cyst was 12.5 cm and pushing my uterus up and over to the left, it had started to leak and this leakage resembled chocolate. Chocolate? Gross.
"This endometrioma was leaking so I'm glad we got to it when we did." Then he starts asking me if I want children. Huh? And if I do, the next 6 months is gonna be the time to do it or my chances are significantly reduced. And he tells me I need to start researching to determine my plan of action..
Should I take birth control and which one or do I begin a pain management regimen. I don't want either of those options. Thankfully I found this website while recovering in the hospital and I've been able to start my journey towards an endo free life.
It's only been 4 days since my laparoscopy but I'm hopeful. Thank you for sharing all your stories and thanks for letting me share mine.